Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
PE ALPHABET
The final product of any game plan or cookbook is how all the ingredients come together to make it just right . But, along the way , there has to be a change to prepare for situations when things go awry. Here is a list that will help guide you through the quagmire of difficulties. Even the best cook , the Head Chef , must resort to pulling out magic at the right time to perfect the soup de jour :
A is for anticipation . This is the ability to foresee problems and establish a plan to ward off any possible discipline and safety concerns. Be on the lookout for the student’s body language and find a way to predict a particular behavior trait. This means that during a lesson ,you will have to notice why things aren’t working and have the ability to change in mid-stream without losing control. The lesson and equipment should be arranged and supervised with an appropriate safety management plan in place.
B is for benchmarks. There has to be standards , objectives and rules to use as a starting point for successful teaching. It is the strength and fiber to make everything work and prove you live by a higher standard of teaching that is comparable with all other core subjects.
C is for creativity and caring . It doesn’t matter what venue peaks are interest , but it’s the way we communicate real life situations in our classes. It can take the form of a modified game , a piece of equipment or a change or rules that is geared to the ability level of the students. This can be a TV show , movie , cartoon , newspaper , song , or a thought that comes to mind in the middle of the night . It all revolves around caring and what we can do for our classes in all kinds of situations. It means changing quickly to another place(area) or idea without loss of control or class time. It appears you can be a magician with a wide variety of activities and equipment to a time warp that it was always planned that way .
D is for discipline and determination . We should always strive to be the best we can be and with being fair makes that task of correcting improper behaviors an easier transition. That means never give up and always find ways to never quit. Even if the activities don’t work , it still means that if something fails will only cause us to be more determined to make it work. Discipline is not only rules , but also how we react in adverse conditions . Just as we set a standard of rules for our classes , it must be understood that we must abide by the ones we set for ourselves . That includes preparation , training , organization and being professional at all times.
E is for enthusiasm . No other trait wins the students respect and admiration than the way we present ourselves in a positive and dynamic explosion of energy. It transfers to the students in the same way . It shows we care and puts the students first . It doesn’t matter if its body language , facial tics , word application , gyrations or even a smile . It gets their attention and provides an avenue for success. They know you love what your doing and it is a contagious experience , that when the class leaves , they can’t wait to come back again , or would rather stay in physical education class all day. This boundless energy starts the very first day of the school year and it will be thwarted by many roadblocks , such as duties , parents and limited planning time. Strive to keep this enthusiasm from the first day of teaching to retirement. If this can be accomplished , then you can honestly say …. I did it my way with pride of a job well done !
F is for fun. Yes, all the games and activities should have that valued ingredient . This main ingredient will be a major factor for the students to come back for more physical education time. The activities should be geared to their interests along with educational objectives . The students should be engaged in activities that they like and feel comfortable . The activities must be developmentally appropriate and geared to their skill level . In many instances, the competition level is not as important than improving on a previous performance or individual basis . This will take the pressure off group or team performance , which will make the lead up games and activities…..FUN ! And ,don’t forget that means fun for the teacher , too .
G is for goals. We must not only set a high standard for our students , but also for ourselves . The goals that we attain are also the same ones we subscribe to when we plan our lessons , and develop them with educational objectives in mind. The goals for the students are trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle each day and to improve their performances on an individual basis .
H is for honesty . We must build our character with integrity and professionalism. This means to give it all we have with the students in mind and not personal gain or accolades as the main goal in education. Having the ability to share and pass along all we know is better than pointing at your self and saying , “look at me and what I did .”
I is for imagination . This goes hand in hand with creativity , but also use our minds and continually search for resources each day to make our classes better. We can be dreamers and think ahead of all the situations that may surface in our classes. In this way , we can prepare exemplary lessons , but yet anticipate the possible safety concerns that may impede that process. Having the ability to use imagery will make our classes exciting and prepare activities that are real an relevant .
J is for janitor . This is the one person on the custodial staff that can be our best ally. They can make sure our area(s) are free of impediments , help with fixing equipment , lend at hand at “tearing down” bleachers and chairs and provide all the necessary tools that we may need to repair equipment. In many instances , they are the nurse , Principal and classroom teacher when the support staff isn’t available in emergency situations.
K is for kindness . When we initiate random acts of kindness it will spread to everybody in all parts of the school complex. The students will learn to be more respectful and their concerns will be to others , not just themselves. It is beneficial to highlight these behaviors with photos on the bulletin board so they can see what acts of kindness are appropriate .
L is for love . We must love what we are doing so it can show the teachers , students , parents , administration and community that we belong as a viable asset to the school district. The students under our care will know we love our profession by the way we conduct ourselves and the lessons we prepare. We always have them in mind , treat them fairly , and accept their errors as a positive learning experience. Our body language and a simple smile can communicate the joy and love each time they come into our class.
M is for motivation. No matter what it takes ,our job is to stimulate the students into a frenzy of activities that can be used for a lifetime of health and fitness. We must lead by example and be a role model . Find ways to understand what they really like to do and use this a s a carry over in physical education and in the home . This motivation will include the family in activities they can enjoy together .
Teachers should spend more time explaining why we teach what we do, and why the activity is important , interesting and worthwhile. The teacher’s enthusiasm will be transmitted to the students , who will be more likely to become interested . The students will respond with interest through the teacher’s motivation ,who appears to be human and caring. Being energetic in teaching is a motivating factor that adds energy to the activities that will enhance learning and commitment to ideas .
But, this goes far beyond the classroom because learning takes place outside the classroom, too. The students must continue to learn after the class , to prepare them to be aware and to apply concepts in their lives after they leave the class .
N is for news. We must spread the news with any public relations tool in our arsenal so all the doubters can join the NEW P.E. It starts with the students and continues on the local ,state and national level. Spread the news in school newsletters, PTA , in-services, conventions, conferences , and government offices. Many people had a negative experience when they were in grade school and beyond. It is up to us to dispel the sins of the past and sing the praises of all the good things that happen in physical education from technology to brain gym and how it helps the development of the whole child.
O is for organization . This simple task is the foundation for planning lessons and maintaining the decorum of each class. This responsibility is what makes a class run smoothly and gives us the opportunity to maintain order. The lessons should be developmentally appropriate , safe and relevant. The lessons should meet the national standards. The activities are planned ahead of time and taught so if there is an adjustment like a weather alert or emergency situation .There is no loss of class time or control .
P is for planning. This is closely associated with being organized. This starts well before the students come to class. By using Internet resources , instant messaging( share ideas ) , lesson procedures , safety concerns and supervision will ensure an organized program for successful teaching.
Recipe .( P) is also for play . The more the students are involve in play , it will be easier for them to be active for a lifetime. All of life will revolve around their play habits and the ability to keep moving . It will set a trend to attack the obesity crisis and restructure the way physical education is perceived. This activity extends far beyond the regular physical education class . It is a carry over into the home and hopefully , into gym memberships or recreational pursuits . Just as learning never stops , play will continue to thrive with the basic foundation learned in physical education classes.
Q is for Quarterback . You are behind the center of all the things that will happen in the field of play . You direct the students in proper positions and make sure they know what ,how and why they are running the plays.(skills). The students count on you when things are not going in a positive direction . The QB helps motivate and encourage the other students in respect , and skill progression. The QB is the also a coach that leads by example . The QB will refine and define leadership qualities that will represent a well oiled machine of teamwork .
R is for repetition. The skills are taught in a step by step procedure in a rubric or scope and sequence. This will give the students the opportunity to work on the skills at their rate of learning and experience. Then, they move to the next skill in order after many successful trials and repetitions.
S is for supervision . This is the ultimate safety device that meets many guidelines of management . It is overseeing and controlling the situation . The principles are :
· You must be there for the activity you are supervising
· Understand the potential risks and have the foresight to meet those obligations
· Inspect the area and any equipment before you use it
· Review rules and procedures before the activity
· Place yourself in a position where you can observe all the students
· Scan the area continually in a systematic manner . Be constantly vigilant and rotate around the area to see more of the activities
· Implement a n emergency plan
· Maintain a record keeping method that establishes a list of things to promote safety for any injuries
T is for testing . Establish a test that provides results to prove why and how the tests are administered like the Fitness Gram or Physical Best . This will provide a prescription for the students to maintain a healthy lifestyle . All tests must serve a purpose , and not for setting school records. There are many tests like the PE Central Challenge that will not only provide results , but also , it is FUN ! It gives the students an opportunity to retry the test and move at their own ability . Included are fitness tests like the Tele-Olympics that combine fitness and the core subjects in a test to compare scores ,and find out about the participating schools in an integrative process.
U is for understanding . This broad topic spans how we recognize not only the students and what makes them” tick”, but also , how we plan , organize and supervise the activities .Is it developmentally appropriate to meet the needs and ability levels of the students ?
Recipe . Make a PE contract for job responsibilities and jobs to establish ownership and respect for others. Next, give the students a handout with all the jobs and have them sign up .( along with a description why they may want the job) Hand out equipment , keep score , emergency patrol , and set up equipment .
V is for variety . Do we plan the activities that are the same year after year without any thought to why ,how , when and what they will provide for the students development.? Is there technology such as , exercise bikes , heart rate monitors , pedometers, Treadwall , Nike Plus or Eye Toy ? Are the lessons sequential and meets the national standards ?
Recipe . Make an exercise box with skills , tasks or exercises that the students chose from a variety of warm-ups that are different each week. Instead of doing a prescribed exercise routine during the holiday season , do the 12 Days of Fitness Christmas . Play Holiday music or TV / Movie selections that the students can identify and enjoy.
W is for weather . This may seem frivolous , but weather systems can be hazardous without the proper preparations. There should be a weather check system in place to warn of potential storms . Slippery conditions will make for accidents , wind bursts will change the way the equipment is utilized , and extreme changes in temperature will cause unsafe field conditions. Preparations and emergency planning is a pre-requisite for all supervised activities. These weather changes move rapidly and we must foresee any safety complications. Establishing a back up plan is necessary , not only for safety , but also, a directive that is placed in our lesson plans .
X is for X-cellent and X-ray . It is imperative we see through the protective covering of some of the behaviors and problems the students may be hiding from us . Just like a medical doctor , it is essential to provide an antidote for what ills the students have brought from home , the playground or other school environment. There are many factors that may change their disposition and it’s our responsibility to care and cure the malady. This isn’t an easy job , but when they know that we are concerned , then it makes for a respectful climate between teacher and student .
Y is for yoga. Teaching can be stressful and we must set time aside during the school day to relax and meditate to slow us down . Just by practicing breathing techniques gives us the ability to stay focused. Simple flexibilities and stretching routines will relieve the tension in the muscles . In class situations , it will calm us and keep from making or saying something we might regret .
Z is for zeal and zest . This is aligned with enthusiasm and our boundless energy to meet those the students have each day . This is why they love our class and never want to leave or can’t wait until the next time . We must be a role model for education of the physical and keep ourselves in shape , too.
A is for anticipation . This is the ability to foresee problems and establish a plan to ward off any possible discipline and safety concerns. Be on the lookout for the student’s body language and find a way to predict a particular behavior trait. This means that during a lesson ,you will have to notice why things aren’t working and have the ability to change in mid-stream without losing control. The lesson and equipment should be arranged and supervised with an appropriate safety management plan in place.
B is for benchmarks. There has to be standards , objectives and rules to use as a starting point for successful teaching. It is the strength and fiber to make everything work and prove you live by a higher standard of teaching that is comparable with all other core subjects.
C is for creativity and caring . It doesn’t matter what venue peaks are interest , but it’s the way we communicate real life situations in our classes. It can take the form of a modified game , a piece of equipment or a change or rules that is geared to the ability level of the students. This can be a TV show , movie , cartoon , newspaper , song , or a thought that comes to mind in the middle of the night . It all revolves around caring and what we can do for our classes in all kinds of situations. It means changing quickly to another place(area) or idea without loss of control or class time. It appears you can be a magician with a wide variety of activities and equipment to a time warp that it was always planned that way .
D is for discipline and determination . We should always strive to be the best we can be and with being fair makes that task of correcting improper behaviors an easier transition. That means never give up and always find ways to never quit. Even if the activities don’t work , it still means that if something fails will only cause us to be more determined to make it work. Discipline is not only rules , but also how we react in adverse conditions . Just as we set a standard of rules for our classes , it must be understood that we must abide by the ones we set for ourselves . That includes preparation , training , organization and being professional at all times.
E is for enthusiasm . No other trait wins the students respect and admiration than the way we present ourselves in a positive and dynamic explosion of energy. It transfers to the students in the same way . It shows we care and puts the students first . It doesn’t matter if its body language , facial tics , word application , gyrations or even a smile . It gets their attention and provides an avenue for success. They know you love what your doing and it is a contagious experience , that when the class leaves , they can’t wait to come back again , or would rather stay in physical education class all day. This boundless energy starts the very first day of the school year and it will be thwarted by many roadblocks , such as duties , parents and limited planning time. Strive to keep this enthusiasm from the first day of teaching to retirement. If this can be accomplished , then you can honestly say …. I did it my way with pride of a job well done !
F is for fun. Yes, all the games and activities should have that valued ingredient . This main ingredient will be a major factor for the students to come back for more physical education time. The activities should be geared to their interests along with educational objectives . The students should be engaged in activities that they like and feel comfortable . The activities must be developmentally appropriate and geared to their skill level . In many instances, the competition level is not as important than improving on a previous performance or individual basis . This will take the pressure off group or team performance , which will make the lead up games and activities…..FUN ! And ,don’t forget that means fun for the teacher , too .
G is for goals. We must not only set a high standard for our students , but also for ourselves . The goals that we attain are also the same ones we subscribe to when we plan our lessons , and develop them with educational objectives in mind. The goals for the students are trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle each day and to improve their performances on an individual basis .
H is for honesty . We must build our character with integrity and professionalism. This means to give it all we have with the students in mind and not personal gain or accolades as the main goal in education. Having the ability to share and pass along all we know is better than pointing at your self and saying , “look at me and what I did .”
I is for imagination . This goes hand in hand with creativity , but also use our minds and continually search for resources each day to make our classes better. We can be dreamers and think ahead of all the situations that may surface in our classes. In this way , we can prepare exemplary lessons , but yet anticipate the possible safety concerns that may impede that process. Having the ability to use imagery will make our classes exciting and prepare activities that are real an relevant .
J is for janitor . This is the one person on the custodial staff that can be our best ally. They can make sure our area(s) are free of impediments , help with fixing equipment , lend at hand at “tearing down” bleachers and chairs and provide all the necessary tools that we may need to repair equipment. In many instances , they are the nurse , Principal and classroom teacher when the support staff isn’t available in emergency situations.
K is for kindness . When we initiate random acts of kindness it will spread to everybody in all parts of the school complex. The students will learn to be more respectful and their concerns will be to others , not just themselves. It is beneficial to highlight these behaviors with photos on the bulletin board so they can see what acts of kindness are appropriate .
L is for love . We must love what we are doing so it can show the teachers , students , parents , administration and community that we belong as a viable asset to the school district. The students under our care will know we love our profession by the way we conduct ourselves and the lessons we prepare. We always have them in mind , treat them fairly , and accept their errors as a positive learning experience. Our body language and a simple smile can communicate the joy and love each time they come into our class.
M is for motivation. No matter what it takes ,our job is to stimulate the students into a frenzy of activities that can be used for a lifetime of health and fitness. We must lead by example and be a role model . Find ways to understand what they really like to do and use this a s a carry over in physical education and in the home . This motivation will include the family in activities they can enjoy together .
Teachers should spend more time explaining why we teach what we do, and why the activity is important , interesting and worthwhile. The teacher’s enthusiasm will be transmitted to the students , who will be more likely to become interested . The students will respond with interest through the teacher’s motivation ,who appears to be human and caring. Being energetic in teaching is a motivating factor that adds energy to the activities that will enhance learning and commitment to ideas .
But, this goes far beyond the classroom because learning takes place outside the classroom, too. The students must continue to learn after the class , to prepare them to be aware and to apply concepts in their lives after they leave the class .
N is for news. We must spread the news with any public relations tool in our arsenal so all the doubters can join the NEW P.E. It starts with the students and continues on the local ,state and national level. Spread the news in school newsletters, PTA , in-services, conventions, conferences , and government offices. Many people had a negative experience when they were in grade school and beyond. It is up to us to dispel the sins of the past and sing the praises of all the good things that happen in physical education from technology to brain gym and how it helps the development of the whole child.
O is for organization . This simple task is the foundation for planning lessons and maintaining the decorum of each class. This responsibility is what makes a class run smoothly and gives us the opportunity to maintain order. The lessons should be developmentally appropriate , safe and relevant. The lessons should meet the national standards. The activities are planned ahead of time and taught so if there is an adjustment like a weather alert or emergency situation .There is no loss of class time or control .
P is for planning. This is closely associated with being organized. This starts well before the students come to class. By using Internet resources , instant messaging( share ideas ) , lesson procedures , safety concerns and supervision will ensure an organized program for successful teaching.
Recipe .( P) is also for play . The more the students are involve in play , it will be easier for them to be active for a lifetime. All of life will revolve around their play habits and the ability to keep moving . It will set a trend to attack the obesity crisis and restructure the way physical education is perceived. This activity extends far beyond the regular physical education class . It is a carry over into the home and hopefully , into gym memberships or recreational pursuits . Just as learning never stops , play will continue to thrive with the basic foundation learned in physical education classes.
Q is for Quarterback . You are behind the center of all the things that will happen in the field of play . You direct the students in proper positions and make sure they know what ,how and why they are running the plays.(skills). The students count on you when things are not going in a positive direction . The QB helps motivate and encourage the other students in respect , and skill progression. The QB is the also a coach that leads by example . The QB will refine and define leadership qualities that will represent a well oiled machine of teamwork .
R is for repetition. The skills are taught in a step by step procedure in a rubric or scope and sequence. This will give the students the opportunity to work on the skills at their rate of learning and experience. Then, they move to the next skill in order after many successful trials and repetitions.
S is for supervision . This is the ultimate safety device that meets many guidelines of management . It is overseeing and controlling the situation . The principles are :
· You must be there for the activity you are supervising
· Understand the potential risks and have the foresight to meet those obligations
· Inspect the area and any equipment before you use it
· Review rules and procedures before the activity
· Place yourself in a position where you can observe all the students
· Scan the area continually in a systematic manner . Be constantly vigilant and rotate around the area to see more of the activities
· Implement a n emergency plan
· Maintain a record keeping method that establishes a list of things to promote safety for any injuries
T is for testing . Establish a test that provides results to prove why and how the tests are administered like the Fitness Gram or Physical Best . This will provide a prescription for the students to maintain a healthy lifestyle . All tests must serve a purpose , and not for setting school records. There are many tests like the PE Central Challenge that will not only provide results , but also , it is FUN ! It gives the students an opportunity to retry the test and move at their own ability . Included are fitness tests like the Tele-Olympics that combine fitness and the core subjects in a test to compare scores ,and find out about the participating schools in an integrative process.
U is for understanding . This broad topic spans how we recognize not only the students and what makes them” tick”, but also , how we plan , organize and supervise the activities .Is it developmentally appropriate to meet the needs and ability levels of the students ?
Recipe . Make a PE contract for job responsibilities and jobs to establish ownership and respect for others. Next, give the students a handout with all the jobs and have them sign up .( along with a description why they may want the job) Hand out equipment , keep score , emergency patrol , and set up equipment .
V is for variety . Do we plan the activities that are the same year after year without any thought to why ,how , when and what they will provide for the students development.? Is there technology such as , exercise bikes , heart rate monitors , pedometers, Treadwall , Nike Plus or Eye Toy ? Are the lessons sequential and meets the national standards ?
Recipe . Make an exercise box with skills , tasks or exercises that the students chose from a variety of warm-ups that are different each week. Instead of doing a prescribed exercise routine during the holiday season , do the 12 Days of Fitness Christmas . Play Holiday music or TV / Movie selections that the students can identify and enjoy.
W is for weather . This may seem frivolous , but weather systems can be hazardous without the proper preparations. There should be a weather check system in place to warn of potential storms . Slippery conditions will make for accidents , wind bursts will change the way the equipment is utilized , and extreme changes in temperature will cause unsafe field conditions. Preparations and emergency planning is a pre-requisite for all supervised activities. These weather changes move rapidly and we must foresee any safety complications. Establishing a back up plan is necessary , not only for safety , but also, a directive that is placed in our lesson plans .
X is for X-cellent and X-ray . It is imperative we see through the protective covering of some of the behaviors and problems the students may be hiding from us . Just like a medical doctor , it is essential to provide an antidote for what ills the students have brought from home , the playground or other school environment. There are many factors that may change their disposition and it’s our responsibility to care and cure the malady. This isn’t an easy job , but when they know that we are concerned , then it makes for a respectful climate between teacher and student .
Y is for yoga. Teaching can be stressful and we must set time aside during the school day to relax and meditate to slow us down . Just by practicing breathing techniques gives us the ability to stay focused. Simple flexibilities and stretching routines will relieve the tension in the muscles . In class situations , it will calm us and keep from making or saying something we might regret .
Z is for zeal and zest . This is aligned with enthusiasm and our boundless energy to meet those the students have each day . This is why they love our class and never want to leave or can’t wait until the next time . We must be a role model for education of the physical and keep ourselves in shape , too.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. Experience..
It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-?-?-?-?
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ??? kissing will take you.
?-?-?-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bull???? and ???Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now I know why some people are where they are!
=
It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-?-?-?-?
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ??? kissing will take you.
?-?-?-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bull???? and ???Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now I know why some people are where they are!
=
TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance..
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23.They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance..
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23.They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!
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